3 Ways to Get Him to Bring You Better Orgasms

Orgasm October ended recently, but that doesn't mean we're going to stop talking about orgasms! We wanted to emphasize the need for talking during sex. We're pretty big on communication for amazing sexual relationships. For example, expressing sexual gratitude, or integrating communication into sex. Our favorite husband of 34 years, Tommy Allen, is here to talk about talking and the importance of communication in getting the pleasure you want and need!

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The language of lovemaking does not need to be verbal. Most everything expressed during sex can be transmitted in the form of moans and movements. The rate and intensity of your breathing speaks volumes. The gyrations from your hips provide a roadmap for him to follow. You just need to provide the signals upon which he can react.

Instruction during lovemaking requires a fine balance; too little and you leave him guessing. Too much and he is intimidated. Men need signs from their ladies confirming what he's doing feels good to you. He wants to know he is providing the pleasure you expect and deserve.

Below are my recommendations for guiding him to bring you more pleasure (and indeed, better orgasms):

#1 Use your hands

Nonverbal instructions can easily be conveyed using your hands. Simply put his hand where you want it to be and, with your fingers on top of his, create the movements that you like.

When he begins to do things the way you want it done give him some positive reinforcement by squirming, moaning or pulling yourself into him. Press on his hand when it's good; ease his hand back when it's not.

#2 Don't jerk; be patient

Let him know that he has taken your direction and is now using it for your pleasure. When he starts to go the wrong way, don't pull away. Please, no quick negative reaction. That can be a mood killer. Slowly change positions, rotate carefully in another direction or begin aggressive sex play on him. This stops the discomfort without bashing his ego. He wants to please. He wants direction. Just try to keep it positive.

#3 Say, "Yes"

Guide him with the only word you ever need during good sex: YES. Whispering that single word when he has found the mark is the most positive sign you can give. Men love to hear yes. The louder and more frequent we hear yes the harder (pun intended) we try. Yes is our verbal aphrodisiac. Keep saying yes and we know we are giving you what you want.

There are two sides to this story. Men want, more than anything else, to please you during lovemaking. And selfishly they like a little attention along the way.

Remember, both of you need to provide direction to each other. Sexual communication is the key to a fantastic sexual relationship. Provide the signals he needs to be your perfect lover and encourage from him the guidance you need to reciprocate.

Cross posted with permission from Tommy's Sex, Money & Life blog. 



Tommy Allen is our favorite husband of over three decades! He now shares his ideas with other couples to help with their success. How great!

Tommy has been happily married for 34 years and together he and his wife have three grown sons. He is a student of life and love. He loves to learn by watching, listening and observing others. He uses his blog to share his observations on life, love, and relationships. Love is Tommy's favorite subject. He and his wife have lived and loved and loved and loved some more in Daytona Beach for more than 18 years. Want more from Tommy? Check out his blog!