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Do Kegels This #ToyWithMeTuesday!

    We've talked about domination, restraints, contracts, and many other sexy forms of control. What about the subtleties of simple muscle control? Think of how many muscles go into a good love session. Usually we think of our legs, backs, and mostly our pelvises doing a majority of the work. GetLusty's Ellen Dukes is here to give a shout out to the often underrated, if not forgotten, Kegel muscles.

    * * *

    Allow me a quick anatomy lesson, readers. Pelvic floor muscles, or Kegels as named for the gynecologist Arnold Kegel, extend from the front pubic bone all the way back towards the anus. The muscles help with everything from urination to childbirth, even orgasm.

    Both male and female genitalia can benefit from Kegel exercise. For men, stronger Kegel's mean lasting longing, or at help staunch premature ejaculation, as well as stronger orgasms. Women also receive a whole lovely list of pluses from regular pelvic exercise, but what I'm mostly focusing on are the sexy benefits.

    Firstly, the basic muscle move: the squeeze. 

    You may not fully be aware of the muscle, but when you contract it, you'll know. Focus on your pelvis and pretend you're about to pee. Then stop the imaginary stream. Feel that smaller contraction? For guys it should be at the base of your scrotum, before your anus. Ladies, you'll feel it right around your vagina. It may sound bewilderingly obvious, but simply being aware of this powerful band of muscles can make a huge difference in your sex life. Ok, now that you've contracted, release. And that's the exercise. Seriously. It's small, but just ten minutes a day and you're on your way.

    Try a few of these as well:
    • Slowly contract in, almost in stages: loosely, tighter, even tighter, tightest. Then release in reverse. Think of it like ab crunches, just farther south and slower.
    • Focus on the movement and control of the muscles.
    • Squeeze for as long as you can, then slowly release. Try holding for 15 seconds, then 30, then even a full minute.
    • Pulse squeeze for a minute, then rest a minute. Try going faster, then alternate slower.
    The best part of these exercises? Do them anywhere! Try them at your desk, in the shower, or on the phone. Not like anyone can truly tell, so there's no excuse for the shy ones. It's a simple, easy, and fairly painless way to stronger Kegels, thus stronger orgasms.

    Unfortunately for our lovely male readers, this next section is focused solely on vaginal tools.

    The vagina is an extremely important muscle, not simply an orifice. What you awesome guys can do is encourage your lady partner to try out some of these tools at home. Seriously, it will play to both your favors in the end. And we're off!

    Silicone would be best for beginners. The material is wonderfully hygienic, softer, and warms easily to your body's temperature. Glass sounds terrifyingly breakable, especially for such a tender area, but well made balls are perfectly safe. You may've read about some stainless steel balls used in Fifty Shades of Grey. Steel is also another perfectly fine material, you may want to warm them in your hands before insertion though.

    Now you may be pondering the plural form of balls, wondering if there must always be more than one. Nay, reader, nay!

    Though these toys usually come in pairs, do not feel it necessary to use both at the same time. Try one for a while, then work up to two. Pinkcherry actually sells singular Smartballs with a helpful strap for removal which look very promising for beginners. Our friend Tizzy Wall even did a YouTube video tutorial on these little lovelies.

    Also, similar to the balls are crystal eggs. Though they look more like table top decorations, these eggs function the same as balls. The egg shape allows for a different, but equally pleasurable experience, as well as a new shape to work your Kegels around.

    They're typically heavier than balls, which can make for a bit more of a challenge, so I'd recommend these as a transitional toy. Again, do not feel pressured to place both eggs in at once if you're not ready. These exercises are about knowing your strength and focusing on the sensual control you have over your own body. What's the point if you feel uncomfortable or downright pained?

    Lastly, there are the kegel weights or bars. Think along the lines of dildoes meets Ben Wa. Again, usually silicone or glass, these exercisers focus on the same muscles as balls or eggs, simply with a different shape and approach. The phallus shape allows for more of the vaginal wall to grip while you can actually pull the bar farther inside of you, or push it out. Kind of like vaginal pull ups, but with an arousing aspect. Pinkcherry has several models to choose from, differing in shape, length, and girth. I would recommend beginning with a very simple form, like Berman Intimate's Kona. We recommend only water-based lubes with this product, due to its texture.

    Now that I've armed you with more vaginal knowledge, go forth! And remember your daily Kegels!

    This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

    A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.
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