There are so many ways we get out of touch with our partners. During this time of the year, we can sometimes forget how important it is to re-connect with our partners. In the midst of new year's resolutions, we might forget love. No, no says GetLusty! Thank goodness our friend Devi Ward, our friend and also a Tantra expert, is back with some quick pick-me-up's for couples.
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What’s the secret to ongoing intimacy, in and out of the bedroom? Most couples agree that they feel more emotionally, mentally, and physically connected with each other, after a good romp in the sack. But generally that yummy feeling of mutual connection begins to wane over time, overwhelmed by all the pressing details of home, work, kids, etc.
Feelings of disconnection can also lead to arguments and fights, which can make it more difficult for couples to find their way back to mutual sexual desire and passion for one another. So what’s the secret to couples maintaining a more intimate connection in and out of the bedroom? Below are two quick recommendations:
#1 Take time to breath
It is a well documented fact that when 2 or more people breath together at the same rate and the same pace, their heartbeats will literally synchronize. Wow! Just by harmonizing your breath, you harmonize your heartbeats, creating a powerful emotional and physical connection. Just imagine how you would relate to one another from this deeply connected, mutual experience. You may find yourselves being on the same “wavelength” mentally, emotionally, and physically, leading to more of that life-enriching sensual connection that so many couples crave.
So how do you have this experience on a regular basis? It’s easy:
First step is have the man (or more masculine of the 2 partners) sit in a comfortable upright position on a chair or the couch, with their back supported. Have the woman, or more feminine/smaller partner sit in their lap, face to face. Make eye contact and smile.
Next, place your left palm on your partners chest, and make a heart to heart connection Now – watch the rise and fall of your partners breathing pattern, and match it. Once you have the breathing pattern established, count 21 breaths silently together. Then proceed to alternate or circular breathing, followed by The Ocean Breath. Now watch how your connection transforms.
I invite you to practice this 3-4x’s a week for the next 6 weeks, and observe the radical transformation it makes in your feelings of love, connection, and passion over time.
#2 Express yourself
The number one killer of romance in my opinion? Unexpressed emotions between partners. Small, seemingly insignificant hurts, irritations, even unexpressed desires, can build over time, creating a subtle but perceptible wall of resentment between couples. Nothing deters the free-flowing joy of open-hearted connection more quickly than resentments built from unspoken truths. Find ways to communicate your feelings responsibly, and learn to effectively “process” your emotions as a couple.
I recommend using the compassionate communication platform of Non-Violent Communication, developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.
Devi Ward is an International Authentic Tantra Educator & Sensual Empowerment Coach. Devi has been on a path of Erotic Awakening and Spiritual Embodiment since 1993, studying meditation, holistic healing arts, and alternative forms of erotic expression. Devi has been a Professional Sensual Movement Artist since 1992.
Devi is the Founder of Feminine Emergence and creator of Sacred Erotic Dance™; a Movement-Healing modality that uses The 5 Core Pelvic Movements™, Authentic Tantra™ & Sensual Dance, to produce physical, emotional and spiritual healing in our relationship to sexual and sensual self-expression.
Her first book “Shake Your Soul Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art of Self-Pleasure” is out on Amazon now. Also find more about her online tantra tutorials. Follow Devi on Twitter @deviwardtantra and on Facebook.