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Sexting 101: 4 Ways to Sext Better

    We love the modern day love letter--the sext! It can be risque, sexy, loving or all of the above. But what do you say or do exactly? How do you make your sext absolutely spectacular? Is there a way to maximize your sexting efforts to make the most of this lusty action to blow away your partner and make it work for you, too? Can sexting be a great way for foreplay? Definitely! We'll tell you! Below are ways to make your sext, ahem, sexier. GetLusty writer Lynn Olejniczak did all the research for you!

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    Ah, where has the love letter gone?

    I will tell you. It has been replaced by the real-time ability to tell the love of your life exactly what you want to do to them 2 ½ hours from right now. Sexting is the modern day letter d’amour. All be it, in an extremely current, quick-to-respond form. At best it can fun and exciting; a thrilling promise to be fulfilled in a passionate encounter as soon as you’re both home from work. At worst it can be a letter-jumble of mixed messages in questionable taste. So how does one go about stringing words together that makes your lover’s heart race as opposed to blood boil? The creativity is in your hands but some guidelines never hurt anyone.

    #1 Know your audience

    This can also be interpreted as, “know your phone.” Technology is sweet. It's also fast-paced and occasionally confusing. I honestly couldn’t tell you what iPhone number the world is using. And I am already mourning the inevitable demise of Blackberry. But I know enough about my Droid address book to not text details of the fantasy I just had to another Brownie parent.

    Just as “Reply all” can get you in hot water, not knowing who you are sexting will result in some pretty uncomfortable conversations. Most phones display the receiving party at the top of the screen. But shit happens, touch screens are sensitive so it is always a good idea to double check that the Send-ee is who you want it to bem not who you last communicated with. I prefer replying to messages that are already part of a stream as I have called my voicemail more than once and heard my mom say, “Hello?” Send a short, innocent tester-text if you don’t trust your phone (or your fingers). “How is you day?” can be interpreted as a caring question to the wrong party, or the intro to a detailed description of how that day could evolve to the right one.

    #2 Away with words

    Spellcheck is both a godsend and the bane of our existence. This built-in texting tool has made it easy for us to correct our fast finger errors without a thought, as well as caused us to rewrite entire messages because it won’t do what we want. Unless you turn it off (I don’t know how, do you?) because you have the utmost confidence in your spelling abilities, proofread before you hit send. The same goes for predictive text, “I want to see you dressed only in whip cream” can become, “I went to sea your depressed over white cream.”

    Depending on how often you use certain words, predictive text will just continue spelling your most commonly used words and simply input them into your message. This can be a pain in the ass while you’re trying to send that special someone specific details on what you want them to do to you tonight. Though remember this works both ways. If you spend enough time sending sexts your phone predictive text will remember these key words and input them into your other, more innocent messages. Words like breath, courteous, mastery, and function can become, well, you get the picture.

    #3 2B or Not To Be

    Maybe it is age. Maybe it is because I write. Maybe it is because I’m over 14, but I absolutely hate it when people use short-cuts for words. Unless you and your lover are total phone/compter/techno geeks do not use acronym-type words to express your deep love and desire. For the first thing most adults can’t tell their “ryt” from their “wut”. Incorporating these little ditties into your fantasy confessional will become confusing and enough of them may just cause the object of your desire to say, “nvm” (nevermind). For another thing it is a bit insulting. Are you that busy that you can’t spell out “later”? Look, I’m not saying pull out the quill and parchment but a sext is still a message. It is a sexy, fun, unexpected surprise in the middle of an otherwise boring or aggravating day. Put some care into it. Tell your partner you can’t wait to wrap your thighs around them, and share the same breath, not wrp ur thighs rnd & shr t same brth. Ttfn…evr. Seriously.

    #4 Be in pictures

    Or not. Think that deleted picture of you lying naked in the hotel in Cancun is gone forever? Think again. I just Googled “getting deleted pictures off of your phone” and I got detailed instructions for iPhone, Android, Nokia, Verizon and MySlide on just the first two pages. It may be a little labor intensive but if someone wants to get those photos back it is possible. But honestly, if your husband sends you a close-up of his massive hard-on look at it, smile slyly and delete the damn thing. Too many lost or stolen phones have incriminating pictures on them, just avoid that mess all together. Deleting these photos shortly after viewing will also prevent you from forgetting about them. Showing your co-worker shots of the new building site shouldn’t include an image of you two having sex in the mirrored Cancun bathroom. It just shouldn’t.

    If you really want to take and send sexy pictures to your partner then use the Snapchat app for iPhone or Android. Snapchat will allow the receiver of said compromising photo (or video) to view for up to ten seconds and then it disappears. It is a safer, bit more fool-proof way to share those moments you just can’t keep in your pants. But be mindful because it is possible for the receiver to take a screenshot of the image before it fades away. I would avoid sending pictures of the make-up sex you two shared last night until you were sure it wasn’t just-to-be-sure-I-made-the-right-decision sex. When taking, sending or saving sexy photos with your smartphone, use your head. No, the other one.

    Sexting is an exciting way to break up your day. Whether you are stealing a few moments to compose a line or two about last night. Or reading his thoughts on how you rocked those heels and thigh-highs. Sexting is a lovely, guilty gem. Many a business trip has helped the home fires keep burning because of the power of the sext. Stay conscientious of privacy issues you both may have and Shakespeare has nothing on you. L8tr.

    Lynn Olejniczak is a native Chicagoan who loves her city and everything it has to offer. She spent 10 years as a NASDAQ trader in  Chicago and New York in the 90's, then went back to college when "the rules changed and I realized no one was going to pay me lots of money to swear at them anymore."

    She loves good food, and a perfectly poured Guinness at any Irish pub in the city. Her Beastie Boys CDs rest comfortably next to her Misfits vinyl, and she believes Underground Garage is the best radio program known to humankind. Armed with degrees in History, and a love of Urban Planning, Lynn is currently writing and researching a book on the 80's Chicago bar scene. Get in touch with Lynn at
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