We've had a delay on our daily dose of sex positions, so to bounce back we're here with Snuggie sex. Yes, you heard right. Sex with Snuggies on.You know? Those cuddly, soft and fuzzy bath-robe-type lounge wear? On the search for the finest sex positions, we found these. And we thought you should know. GetLusty's staff writer Milan Weasley is here to talk about sex positions.
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Whilst browsing sex positions, I came across Snuggie Sutra. The tongue-in-cheek quality of these descriptions are only matched by the hilarious figures. After reading a few, snickers are inevitable. But I wanted to take the challenge of adding my own spin onto some of these positions.
The Gobble Gobble
To add another layer of weirdness: gobble like your life depended on it. Between your moans and sighs of ecstasy, throw in a few deep and throaty gobbles.
As if this isn't good enough, throw a snuggie in the mix. It's even warmer and snnuglier. Oh, my! Though the awkward factor on this position is low, we're glad it is. Focus on the cunnilingus--or blowjob--here, folks!
The Banana SplitI have one word for this position: bananas.
This position would take quite a bit of flexibility. But it looks pretty interesting. Take advantage of your kitchen, especially if you live in a smaller apartment. There's always interesting places to have sex.
To amp up the awkward: bring props. Nothing better than adding a cherry on top. Or a nice shower of roasted peanuts. Bonus points if you can distract your partner long enough to stick them into crevices.
On a side note: even more bonus points for doing the splits during sex. If you do, watch out. You'll likely need some help to get out of this position.
The Night In
Don't ya just love multitasking? You can have an orgasm while you finish up the last few chapters of The Hunger Games or maybe a book appropriate for adults, like the complete collection of English poet, painter and visionary William Blake. How far can you get before throwing down your book?
If it wasn't already odd enough: try reading out loud. Much like Hysterical Literature, after a while it gets pretty hard to hold your moans in. Make it a game. Read the most outlandish quotes you can find. First to laugh loses. And "losing means certain death. May the odds be ever in your favor."
Snuggie sex may be almost impossible to have without laughing. But it can be done. What's love without laughter anyway? And if you can't hold back the giggles, add some of my silly hints to make it that much goofier. Have you tried Snuggie sex? Would you try it now? Share with us below!
Milan Weasley is one of our first lesbian writers. (Ah! Dykes and dildos!) She spends her days procrastinating grad school and her nights procrastinating everything else. She enjoys writing, gogo dancing, sewing, pole dancing, and defending the Oxford comma. Get in touch with her at milan@getlusty.com.
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