Staying in love with yourself is just as important as loving your partner. That's why during this time of stress, loneliness and heartache during the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, we're talking about the importance of play. Through play, we not only have fun, but we feel good about ourselves as well. Enjoying the life you're living in the body you were given. Monica Day is here to talk about the importance of having fun so you can live the best, happy life (which is an important part of having great sex, too).
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My kids just watched the old Tom Hanks movie, Big, over the weekend. The one where he wishes on a carnival fortune-telling machine to be “big” and wakes up in the body of a grown man the next morning.
I wandered through the living room during the scene where he has hot co-worker, Elizabeth Perkins, up to his loft and he’s trying to get her to jump on the trampoline. She’s rolling her eyes, asking for a glass of wine, until finally, he drags her onto it, puffy-skirted evening dress and all. Awkward at first, she makes a few tentative bounces and tries to get down. But he holds her hands, bounces with her, and makes it safe and fun for her to play again. And (big surprise) she also falls in love with him.
The irony of course is that she is a big whig in a toy company. But she had forgotten how to play. And while she had plenty of affairs with men in her company as a way to advance her career, this time her feelings were real. This boy-in-a-man’s-body opened her back up to the fun and innocence of playing. Along the way, the experience unleashed in her genuine passion, imagination and intimacy as well.
Hint: Anyone who is dating these days and trying to follow “The Rules” and “He’s Just Not That Into You” advice: I say ditch it and find someone you can play and be yourself with! Everything will fall into place from there.
I was re-introduced to the word “play” as an adult when I entered the realm of sensual living. I wasn’t even good at playing as a child…so playing as an adult was an even greater challenge, as I had no memory to draw from for the experience. Then, to connect “play” with intimacy, sensuality and sex...well, that was a pretty big leap.
To me, play was not serious enough. It made me feel small, silly and suggested that I was irresponsible. Growing up, it seemed like adults had all the freedom and fun, and kids just got in trouble. So I was determined to be “big” as well, as early as possible. But that big-ness soon became an abatross around my neck — something I couldn’t get rid of, even when I finally wanted to.
Today, I see just about everything as one form of play or another — play is freedom, innocence and openness. You can even work out issues and have arguments, all within the realm of play (just ask my kids, they do it all the time)! Play is a mindset: players like to keep the game going, rather than having winners and losers, and life is the biggest game going!
So if the idea of bouncing on a trampoline in your evening attire doesn’t appeal to you, it may be time you give it a try. Innocence, freedom, wonder and love might be right around the corner.
Cross-posted with permission from The Sensual Life.
Her signature workshop, The Essensual Experience, uses creative expression to inspire more honesty and open communication about your desires – which is the precursor to living a life you love, getting the love you desire, and having the sex you’ve only dared imagine. You can follow her on Twitter @thesensuallife, on her Facebook Fan Page, The Sensual Life, and at her website.
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