Here at GetLusty for Couples, we include all couples in our discussions, straight and gay. After all, there are few differences between straight and gay relationships, though there are also many similarities. We all share the same hardships and challenges. But--in fact, there's a thing or two straight couples could learn from gay couples. GetLusty for Couples writer, Monique Mitchell is here with some of her advice for the straight couples from the LGBTQ perspective.
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#1 Fight Fair
Reportedly, the amount of arguments that heterosexual couples and same-sex couples have are roughly the same. But, according to the Journal of Homosexuality, when same-sex couples argue they tend to make fewer verbal attacks and they try to defuse confrontation. Same-sex couples were also considered to be less likely to develop an elevated heartbeat and adrenaline surges during arguments. Conversely, straight couples were found to remain physically agitated after the conflict. With gay and lesbian couples, humor and affection was also stated to be used in order to allow each person to continue to talk about the issue instead of prolonging a heated argument. In addition, the journal's findings suggest that same-sex couples are better able to see the other person's point of view as well as pick the proper battles, which aids in maintaining a stronger relationship.
#2 Be Honest
Same-sex couples have the advantage in terms of honesty within their relationships. Straight men are more prone to lie about their commitment to a relationship as well as their possessions, while straight women lie to flatter a man's ego and to de-emphasize their interest in other men. Same-sex couples being more on the same wavelength, gender-wise, can make it more difficult to be deceitful regarding their motives.
#3 Don't Play the Guessing Game
Men, whether gay or straight, usually have stronger libidos than women. Comparatively, most women connect with their partners emotionally rather than sexually. The benefit of being in a relationship where both people either share sexual appetites or receive a satisfying amount of non-sexual intimacy is what helps place same-sex couples further ahead in relationships.
#4 Sex and Intimacy
In a 2011 Psychology Today article, it suggested that gay couples tend to have more sex than any other types of couples. And since women often value emotional intimacy, a lower sex drive is not usually a concern with lesbian couples. Gays and lesbians also talk more candidly about sex and monogamy, while heterosexual couples are more apprehensive when discussing sex. Frankness in a same-sex relationship sometimes can lead to a open relationship. Reportedly, men tend to compartmentalize sexual and emotional feelings. By going outside of the relationship, a gay couple with strong libidos can both accommodate their sexual desires. This type of an arrangement eliminates the threat that most other couples encounter in an unfaithful relationship.
#5 Share The Work
Equality in the home can help to reduce relationship conflict. Studies indicate that same-sex couples are more inclined to share household chores, since they are not forced into a particular role. Generally, women are expected to carry the brunt of the housework. And while two recent Norwegian studies entitled “The Study of Life Course, Generation and Gender” and "The Norwegian Life Course, Aging and Generations" indicated that seven out of ten Norwegian women were largely happy with being responsible for most of the housework, the study also stated that many of the women are older, and tend to be either unemployed or work part-time. Overall, most studies in other countries state that gender equality in the home makes couples happier, and can even lead to a more sex. By not having to do all, or the majority, of the housework, time can be freed up for intimacy and other forms of quality time.
As of January 2013, same-sex marriage will be recognized in nine states, in America. And more than 500,000 American couples are in same-sex relationships, per the Census Bureau's 2010 report. While the above factors have shown some of the advantages that same-sex couples may have over straight couples, all relationships face their share of issues. Still, the amount of communication, understanding and honesty in same-sex relationships can be a lesson to anyone who is trying to navigate their way through most relationship hurdles.
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