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Sexual Role Play 101 for Couples

    Role playing is always a fun way to have more sexual adventures. With some negotiation and a safe word, and lots of consent, role-playing can be amazingly, orgasmic foreplay to sex or great on its own!

    Tracy Cooper-Posey, author of hot erotic paranormal romance novels, is here with ways to get started with role-playing if you are a newbie! Get ready to have some fun with these great tips and inspirational role-playing ideas!

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    Does the thought of her dressing up like a real hooker make you roll your eyes at the childishness of it all? If the idea of him playing doctor to your nurse makes you cringe or blush, read on.

    You’ve been missing out on a whole, well, closet full of sexual fun and adventure. If you’re not sure how to start, or not sure you even want to, consider this: Sexual role-playing is one of the easiest and safest ways to spice up a committed couple’s sex life, and it has endless variations and possibilities.

    But if you feel stupid doing it, it’s not going to work for you. You have to ease yourself into the role, the mood and the role-playing mindset. So, we’ve outlined a few simple steps for doing just that.

    What is role play?

    Sexual role-playing, apart from being enormously fun, usually involves you and your partner (but you can take your role playing public, if you’re careful), taking on roles in a sexual fantasy that is part of foreplay and highly arousing. The role-playing may or may not involve wearing costumes or clothing. It could simply involve donning a different persona or character. Some very elaborate role-playing can involve entire sets, scenery, props, and extras (additional people who are aware of the fantasy being played out and enhance it by acting their part).

    6 role play ideas:

    #1 Doctor and nurse 

    Traditionally, the doctor is the man, but these days the roles could be played by either gender. However, the appeal of the fantasy is the costumes…and not scrubs, either!

    #2 Tradesman and housewife

    A strange tradesman enters the housewife’s home and the interaction that ensues is up to the couple….

    #3 Photographer and model

    The photography session starts out innocently enough… Slave and Master: There is virtually no need to explain this one. It is limited only by your imagination and personal comfort zones. Gender roles can be switched around for this one, too.

    #4 Teacher and student 

    I don’t think there’s too many men who haven’t enjoyed the idea of having a girl-woman in short pleated skirt and bobby socks at their command. Again, this is a fantasy that can switch genders happily.

    #5 Hooker/Escort and client

    From street walker to high paid escort, the variations in this one are endless. And with some imagination, the gender roles can easily be reversed, too.

    #6 Stripper and client

    You can make this as authentic as you want…or not. “No touching” adds an element of teasing that increases the effectiveness of any home-grown lap dance.

    Create your own role play versions

    The common element in all these popular fantasies is that they have a position of power in them. The doctor, the master, the teacher, the hooker, the photographer and the trademan are all able to control their counterparts in some way, either because of their positions of authority or because of the situation they are in.

    These are not situations and roles we normally find ourselves in from day to day, which is what provides the rush of novelty and pleasure in role-playing. They are also often roles and situations that edge into dark areas of human nature, such as the master/slave scenario.

    Because this is role-playing, it allows us to explore such situations in a way that is safe and consensual. As long as you and your partner thoroughly discuss your role-playing beforehand, even such role-playing as forced-sex is possible (see basic rules, below).

    3 ways to ease into role play

    #1 Start with something simple

    If the whole idea of dressing up and pretending to be someone else makes your eyes roll, but you’re still curious about role-playing, then don’t dress up. Pick a scenario that involves only street clothes, or not dressing up at all. Keep it short and simple.

    #2 Drop all your inhibitions and reservations 

    The first few times you try role-playing, you have to willingly and actively cooperative to make it work. That means taking a deep breath, dropping all your skepticism, and playing the part assigned to you, no matter how silly you feel. At first you may feel completely stupid, but it passes. You have to get into the role and let your mind take over. Remember that your brain is the biggest errogeneous zone you have. Once you’re past the initial awkwardness, you’ll become aroused and after that you’ll wonder why you waited so long to try this.

    #3 Experiment with more complex scenarios

    As you become more comfortable and grow to enjoy role-playing, you and your partner can extend the scenarios, the costumes and the settings. The variations are truly endless.

    5 basic rules to remember

    There are some simple precautions you should bear in mind when role-playing.

    #1 Preparation is key

    Talk, talk, talk with your partner. Make sure you both know exactly what the scenario is supposed to be, and your roles within it.

    #2 Know what is on the blacklist

    Related to #1, but opposite. While you should both know what to expect, you should both know what not to do. What you partner is worried about happening (or not happening) within the scenario. No one should be forced into doing what they don’t want to do.

    #3 Have a safe word 

    The BDSM world provided this handy little practice and it’s a good one. A safe word has to be a word unlikely to be spoken within the scenario: “Pineapples,” or “Suffragettes!” Your partner can’t simply cry ‘no!’ or ‘stop!’ as these words may be part of their role-playing. But if they utter the safe word, you’ll know you need to cease what you’re doing immediately.

    #4 Pick a scenario that suits both of you

    You need a situation that turns you both on. Sometimes a simple shift in a situation (high class hooker rather than street walker) or costume (see through floor length robe rather than crotch-length satin) makes the difference so it works for both of you. If not, finding a different fantasy altogether might be necessary.

    Don’t forget, what doesn’t work this time may appeal at a later date, especially if it’s only a luke-warm response. Don’t cross scenarios off your list forever. Circle back to them another time and reconsider them. Again, talking beforehand will smooth out a lot of the wrinkles.

    #5 Deconstruct each role-playing occassion 

    Quarterbacking after the game may seem cold and crass, but for role-playing it enhances the next occasion. Stopping in the middle of a scenario to make suggestions about language or technique can ruin the mood and the role-playing is broken, so discussion is best kept for afterwards. This is when you can--and should--provide as much feedback as you can to your partner about what worked for you and what didn’t, down to the smallest details, and including the language they used, any props, scenery, etc.

    You should also tell them what you wished they had done. Your partner should do the same for you and you need to pay attention. It is the details that can ruin or enhance a fantasy. Each time you enact a scenario, and deconstruct it afterwards, you are getting a step closer to your partner’s ideal fantasies… and yours. 

    Tracy Cooper-Posey is a #1 Amazon best selling indie author of hot erotic paranormal romance and romantic suspense. She has been nominated for 5 CAPAs including Favourite Author, and won the Emma Darcy Award. Her books have been nominated three times for Book Of The Year. On her popular blog she posts about MMF romance, vampires sexuality and the intersection of fiction and sex. An Australian, she lives in Edmonton, Canada with her husband, a professional wrestler. Find Tracy at her blog, Facebook, Twitter @TracyCP or  at Amazon!
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