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Showing posts with label sensual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sensual. Show all posts

How to Cultivate a Sensual Pregnancy

Pregnant or considering pregnancy soon? As women, sometimes the first thing we think about is the negatives of pregnancy. The morning sickness, the worry or grief of a sick baby. How will I be as a mother? Did I really just let my child fall on the floor because I wasn't watching her? OK, these are totally natural. But what about you?! Where do you fit in all of these? Is there any way to make pregnancy and afterwards not only bearable--but pleasurable? As our friends Dr. Janelle and Rob Alex note, not only is there an opportunity to make pregnancy sensual. There are plenty of opportunities! Find out more; read on.

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The body changes drastically from the moment of conception. And, those changes continue not only through the next nine to ten months, but for weeks and possibly months after your new bundle of joy arrives. Women are beautiful, sensual and sexual creatures. Yet, for many, once they discover they are pregnant the idea of being sensual or sexual quickly evaporates.

There are many reasons that this may be the case. For example, “Morning sickness”, new hormones running rampant, weight gain. Maybe an unsupportive partner, the upcoming financial strain of a new child, your body image or other health concerns are all potential reasons you may not feel sensual or sexy during all or part of your pregnancy. So, is it even really possible to have a sensual pregnancy? Yes!

First of all, be aware that being sensual does not necessarily mean the same thing as being sexual. Sensuality is about gratifying the senses. Become more fully present in the moment and become fully aware of your body and your emotions.

While pregnant your sense of smell and sense of taste may very well become heightened. Eating delicious foods, especially ones you may have cravings for, can be shared with your lover. Savor in your heightened taste sensations. Slowly bite into that fresh piece of fruit. Take your time lifting the spoon to your mouth, close your lips around it and slowly remove it as you pull this wonderfully delicious treat onto your tongue.

Allow a soft, pleasure-filled moan to escape from your throat. It doesn’t matter if you are early on in your pregnancy with no baby bump or if you are nine months along and your yummy food is balanced on your baby belly instead of the table. Your lover is likely to get turned on by your sensual eating. You can add to the experience by having him/her feed you these tasty bites. You can even choose to close your lips around his/her fingers as you are fed.

As your tummy begins to grow be proud of it instead of insecure about your expanding girth. Opt for clothing that accentuates your baby bump instead of wearing big, sloppy clothing in an attempt to hide it. This is a special time in your life, whether planned or not. Take into consideration that not everyone can offer a baby a safe and sacred space to grow in. Yet, here you are doing just that. Honoring the rigorous, yet divine, work your body is capable of is beautiful. Wearing attractive clothing is always a great way to help you feel more sensual and sexier. Being pregnant doesn’t change that. There are a lot of spouses/partners who find pregnant women highly attractive. Together, you created a child, therefore, together you can relish in the sexy changes in your body.

Being pregnant means your body is increasing its blood flow and increasing the secretions from oil glands. These changes are what help give you that pregnancy “glow”. Your cheeks may be pinker and your skin shimmers from the extra oil. You also glow energetically. We all emit light energy. It is our life force energy. You may better understand it as your aura.

Now, consider that you are carrying another life inside of you and his/her little life force energy is also emitting light. It is no wonder that you seem to “glow” during pregnancy because you really are glowing. And, more often than not others are drawn to the light. This means you may be even more attractive to some than normal. Look at yourself in the mirror. Run your hands over your body and feel the difference in your skin. Allow your lover to do the same. Together you can celebrate the new life your lovemaking is bringing into the world.

Oftentimes, as your body grows heavy with child you may really want and/or need a foot rub, a back rub or even a tummy rub. This is a beautiful time to experience a sensual massage from your honey. He/she can enjoy exploring the changes in your body as you relax and focus on the sensation of his/her touch. If the two of you progress to a more intimate sensual massage, you can release oxytocin and thereby ease any pregnancy pain you may have been experiencing. As you probably already know, as you become sexually aroused the body releases this feel-good hormone. But, did you know that with the increased blood flow, your labia may become engorged during these months. This offers the potential for a new orgasmic experience.

Feeling sensual and sharing in lovemaking with your beloved are not only things you can and should enjoy during your pregnancy, but they are very beneficial for you, your lover, and your unborn baby. For women, pleasure and orgasm are excellent for mental and emotional health as well as physical health. In fact, as you are preparing for labor and delivery, know that semen has a hormone called relaxin, which softens the cervix and lengthens the pelvic ligaments. This hormone can be received orally as well. What a great way to encourage and assist your baby’s entrance into the world.

Experiencing sensuous pleasure throughout your pregnancy can lead to a quicker and easier delivery. It doesn’t guarantee it, but either way you can relish in the sensuality of your pregnancy. Wait! You don’t feel like having sex with your partner? No problem. You do not have to have intercourse. You can experience pleasure orally. You can pleasure yourself.

Of course, due to the increased hormonal activity in the body many women find themselves feeling far more sensual as well as more sexually aroused throughout their pregnancy. You may or may not be one of those women, but you can increase your sensuality simply by honoring you, your body and the changes that are taking place.

Experiencing and enjoying your sensuality and your sexuality throughout your pregnancy will help your body prepare for the birth. This can also deepen the intimate bond with your partner.

One final note for you – while you are in labor if you visualize making love to your sweetheart, you will actually be helping yourself to relax vaginally. This is a natural way to offer yourself assistance during this experience and may even lead you to have an orgasmic birth.

(*Only participate in sexual activity if your heart is healthy enough and you are not experiencing any other serious health issues.)


Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook called "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them at Inward Oasis.

7 Steps to Giving a Loving Sensual Massage







Sexual adventures don't just involve new positions, toys and fantasies. Sometimes a sensual touch or sensation is just as pleasurable as the act of sex itself. A massage is not just a nice thing to do once in awhile for your partner. In fact, giving someone a massage is so intimate and full of love that the sex that may follow will be even more intense and passionate. This is the season of giving. Why not give your partner a loving sensual massage this weekend? Whether or not sex does follow, the act of the massage is the perfect way to just say "I love you." Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc., our favorite sensual advisers, report.

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There is often a bit of a joke about women wanting a back rub or a foot rub before or after sex. Giving someone a back rub can most certainly lead to sexual intimacy whether or not you are already in a relationship. If giving your beloved a back rub can lead to more exciting adventures, then how about going a step further and giving him/her a full body sensual massage? Unsure of just how to go about that? Keep reading!

#1 Preparation 

* Make sure your hands are clean and your nails trimmed and smooth. (You may choose to go a step further and share a shower or bath together first. You can even wash each other.)

* Both of you should remove your jewelry.

* Place two sheets or blankets on the bed, the floor or a massage table if you happen to have one. If the room is cool, be sure to use a blanket or flannel sheets. Your lover will lie between these two sheets/blankets.

* Do your best to adjust the temperature of the room to around 70°.

* Have a pillow (a roll pillow if possible) to place under the backs of his/her knees when on the back and under the fronts of the ankles when on the stomach.

* You might want to gather some rose petals (or other flower petals) to rub across your lover’s skin as you massage him/her.

* Set the lighting low, use soft music, and add a gentle scent such as lavender or use lightly scented oil.

* Be certain your goal is to honor your sweetheart. Focus on giving to him/her. The ultimate goal isn’t really about sex, but instead communicating to your partner how you feel about him/her through touch. If this leads to lovemaking, then go for it. Just don’t offer a sensual massage with that as your sole purpose.

#2 Get naked

Since this is a private and loving sensual massage both of you should become fully naked. This is another good reason to adjust the room temperature. You may choose to blindfold your partner. When one of the senses is taken out of the equation the other senses are heightened. This can enhance the massage. Yet, you may also choose to use body parts other than your hands to massage your lover. If you do that, it can be quite visually stimulating to allow your lover to watch you oil the part of your body you are going to use on him/her.

#3 Start with the back

The normal order of giving a massage starts with your partner lying face down and you begin rubbing the back. Only uncover that area so as to keep your lover warm. If you are massaging the back, then fold the top sheet to his/her waist. Typically, you will move from the back, to the legs and then the feet. Oh, don’t forget the buttocks. But, remember not to get carried away. This isn’t about copping a feel.

 Remember to respect your lover and give him/her the pleasure he/she desires. Have your partner turn over and then work more on the legs and feet. Then move to the arms, hands, neck, and shoulders. **Throughout the entire massage always maintain contact with your lover’s body even when moving the sheet and moving to a different part of his/her body. And, warm the oil in your hands before placing it upon your sweetie’s vulnerable skin. As you begin your massage be sure to start out with a light gentle touch. You may choose to increase pressure as you proceed.

#4 Be present and fully aware

It is very important to pay attention to your sweetie. Watch his/her body to see how it responds to your touch. Are those goose bumps from being cold or from the way you are touching that beautiful body? Listen to his/her responses. Are those moans of relaxation or as you continue do they become moans of sexual pleasure? Or, on the other hand is your partner trying to let you know he/she is uncomfortable? This experience is far more enjoyable for you both if you stay in the moment – stay present. If what you have to do at work pops into your head, recognize it, appreciate it, then take a deep breath and let it go as you exhale. Refocus on the body beneath your hands.

#5 Use your body 

Using your forearm, your feet, your lips, your tongue, your face, your chest, your buttocks, or your genitalia can add a whole new level to the massage. As mentioned above, allowing your lover to watch you oil some of these areas on your body prior to rubbing them all over him/her can be very erotic. Don’t leave out the other tools your body possesses.

#6 Overlooked places 

You can give him/her a scalp massage. This is beautiful tension reliever. Gently rubbing and lightly scratching stimulates the scalp and increases the energy flow. This truly can bring your partner to a state of blissful relaxation. Your lover may also enjoy you rubbing your thumbs gently inside the ear. For many people, the inside as well as the outside of the ear offers very erotic sensations. If your partner is open to a chest massage, gently move yours hands in circling motions over the breasts. Move your hands in opposite directions moving away from each other. After seven or eight circles reverse directions.

 Also, don’t forget the inside of the upper arm, the inner wrist, the backs of the knees, and the palms. Oh wait, there is more. How about his/her face, the collarbone (can be quite sensitive as the skin is so thin there), and around the anklebones – inside and outside of ankle. If your lover is comfortable with it, you can massage the gluteal cleft (the butt crack). Start at the top with small clockwise circles. Then begin to stroke up and down the cleft. Also, consider massaging around the outside of the anus without penetration.

#7 Moving to erotic massage  

The gluteal cleft leads us to taking this sensual massage to the next level. Massaging your partner’s genitals may seem obvious, but again do this with your focus being on honoring his/her body and communicating through touch how you feel about it. Massaging the g-spot or the prostate can be a climatic end to the massage your offer your lover.

These quick tips can get your started on your adventurous journey of sharing a sensual massage with your lover. We hope you take them to heart and enjoy them.


Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook called "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them at Inward Oasis.

7 Ways to Use Breathing to Improve Sex


Using breathing tactics isn't just for childbirth. Using different breathing techniques can heighten sexual awareness and improve your overall experience. Our resident sensual (and especially tantra) knowledgeable couple, Drs. Janelle and Rob, are back (they first talked about sensual sex). They're very passionate and well-versed in tantra, so we're especially glad to hear from them how couples can utilize their tips for better sex! Read on. 

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In the early stages of your relationship, you may very likely have experienced moments when at the touch of your partner your breath hitched, your heart sped up and the next thing you knew your breath caught up with your heart rate and came fast and heavy. Yet, have you considered just how important breath is to your intimate life with your lover?

Breath is not just about supplying your body with oxygen. It is far more than that. In fact, using your breath in different ways can enhance your sex life. You can heighten your experience, prolong orgasm, and even pierce the veil between the physical and spiritual dimensions. Keep reading to uncover 7 different ways to magnify and expand upon your lovemaking.

#1 Breathe on your lover

This may be the most obvious way to enhance your intimate play. Use your breath to breathe on your sweetie’s skin. Blow sweet caresses on his/her neck, chest, stomach, palms, inside of the wrists, and ears. Of course, it is also very potent to gently blow warm breaths onto his/her genitals. Don’t overlook placing your lips against the clothing and blowing warm puffs of breath through his/her clothing. This can be very exciting and those clothes may come flying off.

#2 Fan the flame

When you are trying to start a fire what often happens? You need to fan the spark and turn it into a roaring fire. Right? That spark needs oxygen to turn into a hot flame. As you are flirting with and playing with and loving on your partner visualize this. Imagine leaning towards that little spark and gently blowing until it turns into a raging inferno. In fact, you can do this visualization prior to touching your lover or prior to even being in the same location as he/she. Imagination is very powerful and with practice it can light your flame.

#3 Set the rhythm

Your breathing can control your heart rate and ultimately control the pace of your lovemaking. When you slow down your breathing you can slow down your experience. Yet, beware that slowing down your breathing too much can also cause you to lose your sexual desire. So, only slow down your breathing enough to prolong your lovemaking. Taking deep, slow breaths will allow more blood to flow into the genitals and this will enable the penis to swell more as well as the clitoris. This increase in blood flow will help you experience more sensation in the genitals.

#4 Orgasmic breath 

Think about it a minute. At the point of orgasm, you probably hold your breath. Most people do. What if you tried to breathe during your orgasm and at climax? This takes practice, but one suggestion is to release your breath with a vocal “oooohhh”. Another sound you can practice releasing at that point is “ooooommmm”. The “om” is more of a vibration than a word. This can vibrate throughout your entire body and your partner’s. Is there really a need for explanation of the impact of a vibration radiating throughout your bodies during orgasm? ;-)

#5 Deepen your bond with tandem breath

Breathing together in tandem can deepen your bond as well as get you in harmony with one another. Sitting facing one another get close enough so that your knees are touching.

You may also sit in the yab yum position (one partner sits cross-legged while the other partner sits facing him/her on his/her lap and wraps his/her legs around the bottom partner). Become aware of your breath. Then focus on inhaling and exhaling at the same time as your lover. You can do this fully clothed and out of bed or to heighten the experience you can sit in yab yum naked and in bed.

#6 Channel energy

Breathing moves energy through your body. As you become aware of your breathing you will become aware of your entire body and the sensations that flow from head to toe and back again. Breathe in deeply pulling energy into your root chakra (located at the base of your spine between the coccyx and pelvic bone) from the Earth. Hold that new energy there and focus on the spinning of that chakra. After a few breaths, move this energy up to the sacral chakra (located just below the navel) as you inhale. Again, focus on spinning that chakra with this increased energy. As you come together with your lover envision your root and sacral chakras blending your energies. This is the beginning of heightening the sexual energetic flow in your body.

#7 Use breath for visualization

Instead of thinking of breathing as taking in oxygen imagine you are breathing in your partner’s love for you and exhaling your love for him/her. Breath or “prana” in Sanskrit is considered to be the life force and is concentrated along the seven main chakras. So, visualize your partner’s breath as life giving love for you and your breath as life giving love for him/her. Become aware of the two of you sharing, blending and exchanging breath integrating your minds, your bodies and your souls.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Inward Oasis.

Jane S.

Ogni tanto sa un po' di travello.





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