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Showing posts with label foreplay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foreplay. Show all posts
Best of 2012! Blowjob 101: Ten Tips for His Best Orgasm (NSFW)
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I am sure you have heard it before, "Sex is a lot like pizza. When it's bad, it's still pretty good." Men love oral sex and no matter what, when you are going down on him, he is in absolute heaven. Women? We need a little more than some mediocre pizza. So, if you really want to blow past his expectations and give him the best pizza he has ever had, read these ten tips on how to give a great blowjob! Sure oral sex is different for everyone, and that is why consent and communication are the only ways to know what he wants and what makes him feel good! Without further adieu....
Get accustomed with the penis anatomy
Just like women, men don't always groom the hair down there. So don't feel grossed out or deny oral pleasure because your guy has a little pubic hair- hair is natural. What else is natural? Odor. You should never make someone feel bad for any kind of smell that is happening below the belt, because well, that is just rude and doesn't turn anyone on.
Making someone feel confident is the best kind of foreplay. If it is an issue though, mention you want to shower together pre-sex. It is not only a great way to bond and feel intimate, but you will feel clean and more willing to go down on each other. Now that that's over, let us move on to the anatomy. A human penis is the external sexual organ of a male. Now it certainly has more parts internally than externally, but unlike a vagina, we only focus for the most part, on the outer parts. The penis consists of the scrotum, glans (head) of the penis, shaft (corpus cavernosa and corpus spongisum), testes and urethral opening and foreskin. Now that we know what's going on down there, lets move on to the fun part! The actual blowjob! Here are our ten tips for giving great head.
#1 Eye contact Once and awhile, gaze up at your guy. There is nothing sexier then looking into each other's eyes as your mouth is wrapped around his penis. Hold his gaze for just a little bit, then return to focusing on the job at hand.
Always use this eye contact moment to see how he is doing. Listen for his moans, or watch his facial expressions. If something doesn't seem to be working for him, communicate.
#2 Use your hands!
Sure it's a blow job, but your hands always make them better! Make an "o" shape with your hand and wrap it around his shaft. As you bob up and down his penis, your hand will act as though you are taking him all in at once! Plus the mixture of a hand job and blow job gives him different and pleasurable sensations.
#3 Lick him like an ice cream cone
I am sure this is a pretty self-explanatory tip. Keep your tongue flat and lick his penis from the base to the tip slowly like it's melting ice cream. Not only does this just look sexy, but it feels damn good for him too!
#4 Play with his balls
Since we just mentioned licking him like an ice cream cone, why not talk about the nuts that usually accompany the ice cream split? Licking his balls and gently sucking on them provide an amazing feeling. Gently stroke and lick by taking one ball in your mouth at a time and using your tongue to play with it. Then move on to the next ball.
#5 Pace yourself
Pacing is important in making a blowjob not only feel great, but it also keeps him on edge, anticipating the finale. Instead of having a constant rhythm bobbing up and down, try this! Bob up and down slowly five times. Then mix it up with three slow, two fast bobs. Mixing up your speed and pace helps with the anticipation- which is key to amazing oral.
#6 Tongue action
Use your tongue and swirl it in circles around the tip/head of his penis. Then, go in the opposite direction. He will definitely gasp and moan since this area is super sensitive.
Create a suction action, popping his penis in and out of your mouth. Place the back of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and then with his penis in your mouth, slide your tongue backward. It is like you're vacuuming his dick, in a pleasant way of course. Picture sucking on your thumb as a kid and his penis is your thumb. Some men are very sensitive however, so ask him to suck on your finger first, to show you how he intense he wants the suction to be.
#8 ExploreDepending on your guy, exploration can be really hot. Maybe play with his butt hole with your fingers. Explore his scrotum territory. The scrotum is located behind the penis, and is the sac (pouch) that contains the testes, blood vessels and part of the spermatic cord. Lick his scrotum as you move your hand up and down his shaft. He will feel an ultimate wow sensation. Once you are ready for his cock again, guide your tongue up the underside of his penis and hear him moan as your suck his head back into your mouth.
#9 Play with yourself too
Sure giving a blowjob is all about well, his penis. But guess what? When you moan, groan and get turned on, he gets harder! So if you have a free hand, go ahead and start playing with yourself too. Don't forget to gaze up at him when you are sucking on his dick and playing with your clit. He will have trouble containing himself seeing you as excited as you are!
#10 Swallow?
If you don't mind swallowing, do it! Or if swallowing isn't your thing, request that you want him to come all over your stomach, in between your breasts or on your face.
See what he wants and let him release however he wants (but we recommend either talking it out first or sensually talking about it throughout the process). That'll make his orgasm all the more wild!
Blowjobs shouldn't be intimidating and should just be fun. Communicate effectively and use some of these tips to make your blowjobs that much better. He will surely love to reciprocate back to you. And if he does, mention our cunnilingus 101 article for tips.
Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing and editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Email her at Lora@GetLusty.com!Best of 2012! How to Give Deep-Throat Without Gagging (NSFW)
Getting teary-eyed from feeling as though you are choking is not what I consider a good time. So how do we get over this gag sensation? How can you learn to deep-throat your man's cock without feeling like puking? Here are some positions and tips that should get you deep-throating in the sexiest of ways in no time! And you might still gag. That's just your natural reflex. If you're gagging too much, we'd recommend some other loving blowjob techniques. Maybe in a surprising new location?
Disclaimer! The banana shouldn't be unpeeled! Please--if you're choking, stop! Don't die. That'd be really bad.
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Gagging is a natural reflex. I even gag at the dentist's office. So, how do you expect me not to gag when I try to deep-throat my guy's penis? With some research and a little bit of practice, here are some tips that we believe will help make deep-throating more comfortable, leading to a more confident and sexy blowjob.
What is deep-throating?
Deep-throating is the action of taking a penis deep into your mouth, even down your throat. This is a sensational feeling for men, but for the givers - not so much. In order to comfortably let the penis reach the back of your throat, you need to learn how to control your gag reflex and try out some sexual positions that will make this easier on you.
#1 Practice
Of course practice makes perfect. If you are too nervous to practice on a real penis, try deep-throating some inanimate objects. Use a banana (unpeeled) or dildo to get a feeling of what it will feel like. Your gag reflex will adjust to the new sensations. Hold the banana or your fingers at the back of your throat for 10 seconds.
Continue to breathe through your nose and relax your throat. Your gag reflex will react to this, but hold the object there at the back of your throat no matter how much you convulse or cough. Over time, if you practice this a few times a week, you will have desensitized your gag reflex a lot. Next, go one step further. Attempt sliding the banana, or dildo, in & out of your mouth and down your throat. Remember to breathe, relax, and go slow. Once you master this, you can master the real thing.
When you are ready to try it out on your man, don't tell him! Surprise is your best friend here because there won't be that pressure to perform. Begin with giving him a blowjob in order to smoothly transition into deep-throating. When you feel ready to try out the deep-throat action, slowly take his penis to the back of your throat and then back out. Build a steady rhythm going in and out of your throat to drive him wild and to keep you focused, calm, and relaxed. If you feel uncomfortable, go back to giving him a hand job/blowjob. Since you never told him about your deep-throat experiment he won't know a thing and you can continue practicing on that banana until you feel ready to try again.
What is deep-throating?
Deep-throating is the action of taking a penis deep into your mouth, even down your throat. This is a sensational feeling for men, but for the givers - not so much. In order to comfortably let the penis reach the back of your throat, you need to learn how to control your gag reflex and try out some sexual positions that will make this easier on you.
#1 Practice
Of course practice makes perfect. If you are too nervous to practice on a real penis, try deep-throating some inanimate objects. Use a banana (unpeeled) or dildo to get a feeling of what it will feel like. Your gag reflex will adjust to the new sensations. Hold the banana or your fingers at the back of your throat for 10 seconds.
Continue to breathe through your nose and relax your throat. Your gag reflex will react to this, but hold the object there at the back of your throat no matter how much you convulse or cough. Over time, if you practice this a few times a week, you will have desensitized your gag reflex a lot. Next, go one step further. Attempt sliding the banana, or dildo, in & out of your mouth and down your throat. Remember to breathe, relax, and go slow. Once you master this, you can master the real thing.
When you are ready to try it out on your man, don't tell him! Surprise is your best friend here because there won't be that pressure to perform. Begin with giving him a blowjob in order to smoothly transition into deep-throating. When you feel ready to try out the deep-throat action, slowly take his penis to the back of your throat and then back out. Build a steady rhythm going in and out of your throat to drive him wild and to keep you focused, calm, and relaxed. If you feel uncomfortable, go back to giving him a hand job/blowjob. Since you never told him about your deep-throat experiment he won't know a thing and you can continue practicing on that banana until you feel ready to try again.
#2 Breathe
Giving head can get hot and steamy fast. Remembering to come up for air and breathe through your nose will help keep your entire body relaxed. When your muscles are relaxed, the deep-throat action becomes that much easier to reach. Once the penis is at the back of your throat, it becomes harder to breathe. Focus on relaxing your throat and continue to breathe through your nose. If this proves too difficult, practice having a rhythmic breathing technique. Take a big inhale as he slides his penis out of your throat and exhale before his penis goes back down your throat. You'll have to hold your breathe so make sure he isn't down your throat for too long.
#3 Slow and steadyFast and frequent motions can lead to a more sensitive gag reflex. Moving at a slow and steady pace will keep you relaxed and will also help you deep-throat. Rapid movements will definitely lead to gagging.
But allowing the penis to slowly go deeper and deeper into your throat is much more pleasurable for both parties involved. Guys are turned on by the steady build-up of speed and rhythm and the giver feels sexier and more able to open the throat up. When you are in positions where you are less in control, establish trust. Let you partner know how much trust you are putting in him by allowing him to deep-throat you. Tell him to go slow until you give him consent to go faster.
Deep-throat positions
Here are some positions that will help get his penis deeper into your throat. Once you have practiced and desensitized your gag reflex, try out these positions for maximum penetration. To really open up for a great deep-throat blowjob, you need your throat and his penis parallel to one another. Here are 3 positions that will let you deep-throat with ease. Remember, communicate when trying anything new!
As always communicate with one another. If you absolutely can't get rid of your gag reflex or just don't want to try deep-throating at all, then be honest with him. There are many other blowjob techniques and positions to experiment with that will still keep your relationship steamy.
Speaking of blowjobs, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.
Lora is a GetLusty staff writer and our resident health-nut. When she is not writing and editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Reach her at Editorial@GetLusty.com.
Here are some positions that will help get his penis deeper into your throat. Once you have practiced and desensitized your gag reflex, try out these positions for maximum penetration. To really open up for a great deep-throat blowjob, you need your throat and his penis parallel to one another. Here are 3 positions that will let you deep-throat with ease. Remember, communicate when trying anything new!
#1 Wide legged stance
Have him stand with his legs spread wide. Shimmy yourself underneath his penis so your mouth is directly beneath him. Tilt your head back and angle his penis downward into your mouth. This is still a fun position because he can grab your hair, or caress your head and guide your head as you go deeper.
Have him stand with his legs spread wide. Shimmy yourself underneath his penis so your mouth is directly beneath him. Tilt your head back and angle his penis downward into your mouth. This is still a fun position because he can grab your hair, or caress your head and guide your head as you go deeper.
#2 Have him straddle you
Lay on your back. Have your guy kneel over you and straddle your head with his knees close to your armpits. Place a few pillows under your head, and begin to give him a blowjob. This position provides for a very deep blowjob and the angle at which he is in your mouth will not induce gagging because he is against your throat and not your tongue/top of the back of your throat. However, you are very submissive in this pose so trust needs to be established beforehand. With his hands on your head he has control of how deep he goes.
#3 Upside down blowjob
Lie down facing up on a bed. Let your head hang off the edge of the bed so you are mildly inverted. Have him stand facing you and let him enter your mouth with his penis. This blowjob position is great because he can really get deep in your throat. However, this position requires a lot of trust as he will have the control in this situation, and you are at his mercy.
Communicate and tell him to go slowly so that you don't gag. Being upside down is disorientating so just tell him to go slow and steady until you are more comfortable in this position. If you want to be the only one in control here (understandable) then you can easily reach around him and grab his butt cheeks, back of thighs or waist to draw him closer toward you and control the speed and depth of the thrust. Thanks Wikipedia for this position picture.
Communicate and tell him to go slowly so that you don't gag. Being upside down is disorientating so just tell him to go slow and steady until you are more comfortable in this position. If you want to be the only one in control here (understandable) then you can easily reach around him and grab his butt cheeks, back of thighs or waist to draw him closer toward you and control the speed and depth of the thrust. Thanks Wikipedia for this position picture.
As always communicate with one another. If you absolutely can't get rid of your gag reflex or just don't want to try deep-throating at all, then be honest with him. There are many other blowjob techniques and positions to experiment with that will still keep your relationship steamy.
Speaking of blowjobs, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.
Lora is a GetLusty staff writer and our resident health-nut. When she is not writing and editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Reach her at Editorial@GetLusty.com. Best of 2012! Erotic Spanking 101: Positions & Toys (NSFW)
Spanking seems like a lost art to many non-kinksters. More than taboo, it seems like it could be painful or malicious. At GetLusty, we're all about educating so you do it right. Spanking can be really enjoyable. It can also provide a different set of sensations during your sex sessions than you normally don't get. Before doing the more kinky activities, we do recommend you read Jean-Luc Gothos Sexual Negotiation 101 and talk about consent. Always, always, always talk about it before you do it! Let each other know you're curious about doing something different. You know--shaking things up a little.
That being said, you heard from our long-time writer Ellen Dukes about whipping and flogging. Now, how about a more rounded out view on erotic spanking? We think this practice is rather sexy, so GetLusty's Rachel Colias is here to report on why and how you can try this erotic foreplay artfully.
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Have your fantasies ever included being disciplined? Do you become aroused by rough, consensual play? Is the idea of being someone’s submissive partner one you enjoy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, or are excited by the scenarios, you may be interested in exploring erotic spanking! The technical term for being aroused by spanking is spankophilia, and you don’t have to be on the receiving end to enjoy it! Spankophilia also includes becoming aroused by delivering a spanking to other parties.
As simple as spanking sounds, those here at GetLusty for Couples are here to explain how complex it can really be. Between different positions, toys, foreplay, costumes and role play, it can get more complicated than you’d think. But if erotic spanking is something you want to try, or if you want to mix up your spanking routine, I’m sure we can offer you a great selection to choose from!The possibilities for erotic spanking are so extensive that we’ve decided to split the article up into two parts. This first part outlines different positions and toys that are great for spanking.
While many may assume erotic spanking is a more modern kink, there’s evidence that it actually dates back to around the sixth century b.c. The evidence for this being an image found in an Etruscan burial site depicting an eroticized flagellation, or, flogging. This erotic punishment also permeated quite a bit into Victorian culture and, more specifically, pornography. Of course it’s hard to say where and when it truly started, but it’s hardly outdated! Let’s get started on the basics.
Positions What better place to start than the how? It’s easy to assume that most positions include a person being in a bent over position, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that bland. Here are a few tips on different ways to set up the act: (Remember! You can add ankle, wrist, or body restraints to any of these positions!)
#1 The spanker sits in the middle of a long couch, while the spankee — person being spanked — lays stomach-down across their lap with their ass positioned directly over the spanker’s crotch. If the spanker happens to be male-bodied, this gives the spankee a wonderfully exciting sensation when he/she/they start(s) to become aroused. This is also a pretty comfortable position for the spankee.
#2 The spankee kneels on a couch or chair, facing backwards, bending over with their hands on the back of the furniture. The spanker stands in front of the couch or chair, facing the spankee’s back. This gives the spanker a pretty dominant position considering they’re practically standing over the spankee and is perfect for dominant/submissive play.
#3 The spankee lies stomach-down on the floor, ass either flat or slightly elevated if you want to tuck a pillow under the spankee’s stomach, while the spanker either stands or kneels above them.
#4 A modification to the previous option, the spankee can also lay stomach-down on a bed, table, or any other flat surface that allows for the spanker to stand over them.
#5 Both the spanker and spankee are standing for this one. The spankee leans slightly forward, hands either flat against a wall or holding on to something like a table or door frame. The spanker stands behind or slightly beside the spankee.
#6 Of course, the classic spankee bent over the spanker’s lap. This is different from the first scenario in that it’s generally performed in a chair where the spankee is entirely bent over, not just lying down. Again, if the spanker is male-bodied there’s an added pleasure bonus for the spankee!
#7 The spankee bends over a table, lying stomach-down on its surface, while the spanker stands behind.
#8 The spankee is bent over the shoulder or the arm of the spanker.
#9 Looking for something a little more serious and expensive? Try purchasing a spanking bench! This apparatus comes in quite a few positional styles and can include rings for restraints.
All of the above-mentioned techniques are suggestions that can easily be modified to fit different scenarios or furniture. If you have any personal favorites I haven’t mentioned, leave them in the comments below!
ToysBut what do we do with all these new, fun situations? Here are a few toys, or spanking tools, you can integrate into the process now that you’ve assumed the position:
#1 In honor of #SexToyTuesday, my first suggestion is Chicago’s Early To Bed Jack Boot Paddle (to the right). Be warned, this paddle is not for beginners or light dabblers. This boot-shaped paddle packs a punch! The boot print is made of rubber and the paddle wood, so there is NO give! When you get spanked, you will definitely feel it!
#2 If the serious-business paddles aren’t really your style, why not try the back of a hairbrush? It’s much smaller and while plastic or wood still stings, it’s easier and cheaper to experiment with. Similarly, you can use a wooden spoon.
#3 Another wooden option would be a cane, which comes in all lengths and girths.
#4 Standard paddle (comes in materials such as soft leather, rubber, or wood and can even be found with feathers or a soft material cover for a lighter sensation).
#5 Riding crop, which is long and generally comes with a handle on one end and small, flat spanking surface on the other. These are effective in causing quick, sharp and stinging sensations.#6 The classic hand. While pretty standard and totally free, there is definitely a variety of techniques that can be used. These include flat hand with fingers spread, cupped hand, hard open palm, an immediate spank-and-grope, and basically anything else you can think of!
#7 Although this isn’t necessarily “spanking,” flogs and whips are also great for delivering a backside-beating.
As always, feel free to comment about your own favorite toys!
This article was written by Rachel Colias. She’s currently getting her bachelors in English and Women’s and Gender studies and feels especially passionate about advocating for the importance of consent and communication.
Her hobbies include shopping for new vibrators playing roller derby, and getting tattoos her mom doesn’t approve of. When she’s not writing for GetLusty or doing homework, she’s playing with her bearded dragon Terrance and you can generally find her reading comic books with her loving boyfriend of six years or eating pizza and watching Netflix. You can find and follow her Tumblr blog here! Also connect with her at editorial@getlusty.com.
5 Ways to Make Sex More Sensual
You've heard from GetLusty about intimacy and sensuality in sex - about intimacy before and after. So how about making the act itself - whether that's intercourse or foreplay - more sensual? Our newest writers, the cutest counseling couple we've seen recently, Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc., are here to shed light on sensuality in sex.
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When you hear the word “sensual” you are most likely going to relate it to something sexual. If someone says to you, “You should try these strawberries. They are the most sensual fruit I have ever tasted,” where does your mind go?
Does it click in on just the fact that those strawberries must have been ripened to perfection? Or does your mind instantly click to a sexy image of biting into the fruit? What if someone offers to take you on a sensual journey? The first thing that probably comes to mind is the sexual scenario implied by such an offer and not the possibility he/she was just inviting you to the local grocery and department store. That could be sensual after all – taste this food, smell that cologne, feel this fabric, hear that song, read those tabloid headlines.
Yet, isn’t doing your regular shopping something you sometimes dread. It has become boring. It feels like a chore. You just want to hurry up and get it over with because you know you need to do it, but really don’t want to. Uh oh, those descriptions might well cover something else in your life. Sex.
Sex can absolutely be animalistic and a "rip your clothes off and jump on your partner" experience, but it can be very slow and sensual too. It should never just be about taking off your clothes, getting under the covers, groping each other a couple of minutes and then bumping and grinding for a few more minutes. So, how can you explore sensuality and bring it back into your sex life? Remember that sensual means that you are gratifying the senses. Satisfying all of your desires such as seeing, touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting is where sensuality really arrives on the scene. And, guess what, satisfying your sixth sense – your intuition or spiritual self, is quite sensual too.
Here are 5 ways to make your intimate play sensual. Bonus: Call it intimate play ;) That changes it up right from the start.
Wear clothing that feels good on your skin. Silk is a common suggestion here as it is cool to touch and so smooth. The feel of it brushing against your skin throughout the day can be a turn on. And, when your partner touches you through the silk that can be extremely exciting for both of you. If you don’t want to wear a sensual type of material during the day, then pick up some silk scarves or a feather or something velvety. Then you can use these different items to drag over your lover’s skin later in the evening. Focus on the sensation of the material or item touching you. It may be relaxing, tickly, or it may just have you ready to grab your lover and get busy.
#2 Light up your senses
Bring different flavors and smells into your lovemaking. One interesting way to do this is to get the Sexy Challenge: Lips Like Sugar as it offers you unique insight into trying different tastes with and/or upon your partner. Adding different flavors to your physically intimate life with your beloved can occur in a variety of ways. Food may seem like an obvious thing to bring into your lovemaking and there are many ways to do that, but don’t overlook flavored lubes as well. There are also a vast number of ways to bring in amazing aromas. Scented candles (we always recommend flameless candles for safety), lotions, colognes, lubes, and the different food items are all great ways to enhance your sensuality.
#3 Listen
What about hearing? How can you make that sensual? You could whisper sexy phrases or words of love into your partner’s ear. You could turn on music that you both enjoy and that will get you in the mood.
But what about hearing the sound of your lover’s laughter? Bringing laughter and silliness into your sex life can be an amazing experience. Just let go and be goofy together. Laughter and lightheartedness will bring powerful, playful passion into your life and hopefully, you will come to appreciate the sensuous sound of your lover’s laugh.
#4 Massage
Time for a little naked massage! Yay! This actually satisfies more than one sense. With low lighting you can visually soak up the beauty of your sweetie all oiled up and glistening, but you can enjoy the aromas of scented oils or just the animalistic smell of him/her too. With both of you naked you can take turns rubbing your hands, your feet and your entire body – yep, genitals are great massage tools too – over your lover.
#5 Focus on their pleasureLast but not least, we highly recommend that you pay attention and be consciously aware not only during foreplay and lovemaking, but at the peak of orgasm, after you are coming down from orgasm and for the next couple of days.
How do you feel? Did you notice anything out of the ordinary – visions, images, an extreme sense of bliss or simply like you entered a void or time was suspended? Sexual orgasmic energy taps you into the creative source (call it whatever you like – the Universe, Spirit, God, the Divine or even I don’t know what it is, but it sure feels goooood). This access to creativity through orgasm is why we want you to pay attention up to a few days later to see if you are more creative, have new ideas, solve problems easier than normal or maybe you just have a bigger smile on your face and feel energized.
Use these five ways to bring more sensuality into your sex life and we believe you will transform your relationship and take your intimacy to a higher level – no matter where it is now.
Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacret and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Sexy Challenges.
3 Must Read Books on Cunnilingus
Just in time for New Years! It's the holidays, and you might still be thinking about gifts for that special person in your life. Well, books are a good way to show you care--and note how much you love making love with them. You want you both to have better sex, so maybe your partner would like to read an oral sex book together? On top of that, we had a great response for other 3 Books on Giving the Best Cunnilingus. GetLusty writer Stephanie Vanderwall brings you 3 of the best books on cunnilingus.
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When it comes to blowing a woman’s mind, these authors know what they’re talking about! So pick your favorite, study up, and try out some new tips and tricks on that lovely lady of yours.
#1 Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing Orgasms
By Shanna Katz
You can’t be a superstar sex partner until you’ve mastered the subtle art of cunnilingus. For starters, you need to get your timing down, learn what licks feel good and how to be sure your partner is truly enjoying your efforts. Luckily, Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind teaches all this and a whole lot more. Whether you’re just getting started or are practically an oral expert, this book has just what you need. It’s packed with tips and techniques to improve those tingling tongue moves and features tastefully erotic photos of positions perfect for oral pleasuring. Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind is far more than a set of skills. It explains how cunnilingus helps you feel connected with your partner (whether you are the giver or the receiver) and how to enrich that experience.
“I really enjoyed this book. Not only was it interesting and informative, it had a really fun tone as well. The author was definitely enjoying herself when she wrote it. Or at least that’s the sense I get then I see a lot of fun alliteration. I appreciated that the book covered a lot of topics from the rank beginner to someone more experienced. I would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their oral sex technique.” –Amazon Customer
#2 The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure
By Violet Blue, forward by Margaret Cho
This 2011 Independent Publisher Awards silver medalist is truly the bible of oral sex. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus gives excellent advice, encouragement, and helpful instruction to those who want to expand their expertise or are simply curious about the art’s finer points. In her clear, concise, and informative text, sex educator Violet Blue provides step-by-step instructions for going down on a woman, as well as accurate and up-to-date information on female anatomy and sexual response.
In her friendly, witty tone, Blue dispatches fascinating facts and discusses games for lovers, positions, safety, and a variety of techniques; she also offers erotic book and DVD recommendations, and tips for effective communication during the act itself. Featuring helpful illustrations and erotica by sexpert Alison Tyler, this is the essential guide to going down.
Sex advice blogger Susie Bright raves: “Violet Blue’s cunnilingus book is the best sheer technique manual I’ve ever read on going down.”
“I think this is a great book. My husband and I never experimented in this area for many reasons...mostly my own insecurity. This book opened my eyes in all directions. If you are looking for a book to help you in this area it is a good one. I have hunted all over and this is by far the best one! Have fun!” –Amazon Customer
#3 The Best Oral Sex Ever: His Guide to Going Down
By Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.
Eating out has never been so hot. Sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright exposes the facts and fantastic tricks oral sex aficionados live by in her brazen how-to for men. This guide gives you the tools you need to thrill her every night, including: making cunnilingus the evening's main course or the first stop in a night of multiple orgasms, techniques from the sacred "Flutter of the Butterfly" to modern Oral Sex Acrobatics, how to overcome any woman's oral sex hang-ups, and how to broach the subject of wanting to give her oral sex—even when it makes her nervous.
Packed with the most erotic ideas for pleasuring her, this men's manual will send you running for the covers.
One satisfied Amazon reader says: “This is a fun book, and even better if you have someone to practice on :-) I haven't completely finished it, but so far it's been very informative; a nice balance between being too clinical on the one hand, and too lewd / crude on the other.”
“Great book for learning some finer points to this subject! I learned a lot of new things and my wife benefited! Did talk about some things I already knew yet some might not. I strongly recommend this manual because it does meet its purpose plus!” –Barnes & Noble Customer
Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog she writes in every so often. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down, but you can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? Email stephanie@getlusty.com.
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When it comes to blowing a woman’s mind, these authors know what they’re talking about! So pick your favorite, study up, and try out some new tips and tricks on that lovely lady of yours.
#1 Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing OrgasmsBy Shanna Katz
You can’t be a superstar sex partner until you’ve mastered the subtle art of cunnilingus. For starters, you need to get your timing down, learn what licks feel good and how to be sure your partner is truly enjoying your efforts. Luckily, Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind teaches all this and a whole lot more. Whether you’re just getting started or are practically an oral expert, this book has just what you need. It’s packed with tips and techniques to improve those tingling tongue moves and features tastefully erotic photos of positions perfect for oral pleasuring. Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind is far more than a set of skills. It explains how cunnilingus helps you feel connected with your partner (whether you are the giver or the receiver) and how to enrich that experience.
“I really enjoyed this book. Not only was it interesting and informative, it had a really fun tone as well. The author was definitely enjoying herself when she wrote it. Or at least that’s the sense I get then I see a lot of fun alliteration. I appreciated that the book covered a lot of topics from the rank beginner to someone more experienced. I would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their oral sex technique.” –Amazon Customer
By Violet Blue, forward by Margaret Cho
This 2011 Independent Publisher Awards silver medalist is truly the bible of oral sex. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus gives excellent advice, encouragement, and helpful instruction to those who want to expand their expertise or are simply curious about the art’s finer points. In her clear, concise, and informative text, sex educator Violet Blue provides step-by-step instructions for going down on a woman, as well as accurate and up-to-date information on female anatomy and sexual response.
In her friendly, witty tone, Blue dispatches fascinating facts and discusses games for lovers, positions, safety, and a variety of techniques; she also offers erotic book and DVD recommendations, and tips for effective communication during the act itself. Featuring helpful illustrations and erotica by sexpert Alison Tyler, this is the essential guide to going down.
Sex advice blogger Susie Bright raves: “Violet Blue’s cunnilingus book is the best sheer technique manual I’ve ever read on going down.”
“I think this is a great book. My husband and I never experimented in this area for many reasons...mostly my own insecurity. This book opened my eyes in all directions. If you are looking for a book to help you in this area it is a good one. I have hunted all over and this is by far the best one! Have fun!” –Amazon Customer
#3 The Best Oral Sex Ever: His Guide to Going Down
By Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.
Eating out has never been so hot. Sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright exposes the facts and fantastic tricks oral sex aficionados live by in her brazen how-to for men. This guide gives you the tools you need to thrill her every night, including: making cunnilingus the evening's main course or the first stop in a night of multiple orgasms, techniques from the sacred "Flutter of the Butterfly" to modern Oral Sex Acrobatics, how to overcome any woman's oral sex hang-ups, and how to broach the subject of wanting to give her oral sex—even when it makes her nervous.
Packed with the most erotic ideas for pleasuring her, this men's manual will send you running for the covers.
One satisfied Amazon reader says: “This is a fun book, and even better if you have someone to practice on :-) I haven't completely finished it, but so far it's been very informative; a nice balance between being too clinical on the one hand, and too lewd / crude on the other.”
“Great book for learning some finer points to this subject! I learned a lot of new things and my wife benefited! Did talk about some things I already knew yet some might not. I strongly recommend this manual because it does meet its purpose plus!” –Barnes & Noble Customer
Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog she writes in every so often. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down, but you can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? Email stephanie@getlusty.com.
Erotica! 50 Shades of Enticing Female Fantasies
Erotic fantasy plays a big part in our sexual lives her at GetLusty for Couples. Words can be so sexy. From talking dirty to telling each other erotic stories, words touch us in different ways. Our favorite erotica writer, sex educator and counselor Dr. Limor never disappoints. In her series of steamy, 50 Shades of Grey inspired female fantasies, she's back with another tantalizing story. Her story, inspired by 'Sarah', makes for some enticing foreplay. Want to know more? Read on!
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Inspired by: Sarah
It isn’t every day that I come across extraordinary beauty and sensuality – just walking back home from work.
I wasn’t in such a great mood with my boss abusing my work hours once again. You'd think working for a woman would put you in a better position based on kinship; it couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Sarah, could you come in my office please, ASAP?” Her demeaning tone throws me off completely. In my head I’m ready to, yet again, slap her right in that chunky face of hers and tell her I quit. “How many times can I emphasize that I need a full list of next issue’s writers, on my desk, pronto? I can’t start sending nagging emails for all of them lazy bums to make sure they send submissions, as early as yesterday, until I see the full list! Get on it, will you?”
I’m closing her door behind me, feeling sorry for myself and very lonely. I haven’t had a close relationship in quite a while, let alone a good, mind blowing orgasm. “Note to self: stop by the adult superstore on Santa Monica and get a shiny, BIG vibrator, to make your lonely nights more palatable.”
It’s a short walk from the magazine’s headquarters to my place. So I try to avoid driving the car over, just to get my ass some much needed exercise.
As I approach the corner of La Cienaga and 3rd, I notice him. Standing peacefully at the bus station, looking so hot it's mind blowing. His dark, thick hair blows gently in the evening breeze, exposing his gorgeous facial features. He leans against the wall, his shirt stretches over his long, athletic body. Every inch of him looks good enough to eat! I can’t stop staring at him, what a beautiful boy; he can’t be more than 23. He notices me in the corner of his eye, and turns around.
I feel exposed, like a school girl that just got caught giving head to her boyfriend in the restroom. I remain stiff in my place, unable to take my eyes of the young Adonis staring back at me. He breaks the ice and releases a shy smile, exposing perfect white teeth and mad sexy dimples. I turn away, dying of shame! What on earth am I thinking, I’m at least 15 years older than him!
I start walking in the opposite direction, beating myself up about even considering turning around, just for a minute, to see if he’s still looking. A warm hand lands on my shoulder. “Excuse me, ma’am?” Oh god did he really call me ma’am just now? “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the street. You are very beautiful."
My mind is racing, I feel hot and aroused in the most primal way... if we were neardenthals I would have knocked him over the head and dragged him into the cave, just to have my way, undisturbed!
I’m examining the beautiful shape of his full lips, the brightness of his skin, his wide shoulders and his strong hands. I’m utterly speechless, giggling like a teenager.
“Thank you, likewise. I’m Sarah by the way, sorry for not introducing myself.” I feel my nipples tighten and my panties getting soaking wet, just from shaking his firm hand.
“So what do you think Sarah, can we have coffee together, tonight or tomorrow?”
I’m having an out of body experience, time stops as I run these crazy images in my head. Should I invite him over? Should I tear his clothes off and indulge in his young, incredibly passionate body?
“I live two blocks from here, I have coffee if you feel like coming over.”
He follows me home, we hardly talk. I’m walking fast, exceeding his pace for some subconscious domineering reason. He catches up with me, closes my hand in his. My pussy quivers in insatiable desire. As soon as we get inside the building, he gets close and shoves me in a corner right outside my apartment door. “I want to have you now, Sarah. I want to fuck you so bad!”
He puts his hand under my skirt and pushes my wet panties aside. His hands are covering my body; back, front, pussy, ass, neck, thighs. He’s pulling my hair back as he lifts me in his strong arms, positioning me right on top of his fully erect cock.
“Is this what you were looking at from the other side of the street, beautiful Sarah? Did you want me to put my cock inside your wet pussy?” I devour his sexy lips, running my fingers through his thick dark mane.
“Shut up and fuck me, push this big young cock of yours inside me and don’t stop till I cum. I want you to make me scream in pleasure sexy boy, can you do that?”
A quick key turn throws us on top of each other, on the floor of my studio apartment.
He holds me down on the floor, spreading my legs wide and licking my clit passionately, while shoving his fingers in my eager cunt.
“I love eating you baby, do you even realize how tasty you are?” We turn into a single sexual entity panting and groaning, his head between my legs, my hands groping my breasts, squeezing my nipples, licking my lips in sheer desire.
“I want you to cum in my mouth. I want you to squirt all over my face Sarah, can we do that?”
I’m close to exploding in a very big orgasm, he doesn’t need to do much to get me to the point of no return. A strong feeling of wet stream fills my pelvis, a rush of tingling sensation crawls down my belly and erupts in a warm, sweet flush, on my little lover boy’s face.
He licks me dry and cuddles me. “Can I cum on your beautiful tits Sarah. Will that be OK?”
I nod and kneel in front of his huge erection and put it in my mouth, licking my juices off his manhood. He pants, moans and shivers. I grab his balls in my hand and gently caress them between my fingers, cradle them in my hand, licking them passionately.
“Oh baby I’m gonna cum,” he spreads his legs wide, positions his shaft right in my face and cums in a jet of white indulgence on my lips and engorged, eager breasts…
This post is by the incredibly talented Dr. Limor. Dr. Limor Blockman is a world-renowned clinical sex counselor, practicing as a relationship and family counselor, a sex educator, advice columnist, speaker and author.She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, an MA in public health and community medicine, and a BA in psychology and behavioral sciences. She has published three bestselling books (published in Hebrew) and reaches people worldwide through print, TV, radio, Internet and video. Find out more about Limor through her website, Facebook or follow her on Twitter @DoctorLimor.
Check out Dr. Blockman's new book, 365 Daily Tips for Outrageous Sex & Intimacy.
What's the Difference Between Sexuality and Sensuality?
It takes more than crazy sex positions and toys to enhance a couple's love life. Sexuality should be explored on a deeper level. Couples should be sensual with each other, but what do those things mean? What is Sensuality? Isn't it the same as Sexuality? Drs Janelle and Rob Alex define these ideas and explain how sensuality can enhance your life, in and out of the bedroom.
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The Differences
In an earlier post, 5 Ways to Make Sex Sensual, we said, “when you hear the word “sensual” you are most likely going to relate it to something sexual.” This may not ring true in all cultures, but the majority of Americans do create a direct correlation between sensuality and sexuality in their minds. In fact, thousands and thousands of people use those two words interchangeably. But, do they really mean the same thing? Is one truly synonymous with the other? We don’t believe so. On the other hand, sensual experiences can most certainly lead to sexual experiences.
Sexuality
The actual definition of “sexuality” describes it as one’s capacity to have sexual feelings as well as what one’s sexual preferences are. These are physical, animalistic traits. They can still feel good, but just performing the act of sex does not mean that you will explore the senses. Simply engaging in sexual activity does not mean that you will gratify your sensual self. Sexuality can be solely about lust and the desire to jump your lover, rip off his or her clothes and get busy.
SensualitySensuality is slower and arouses, as well as gratifies, all of the senses. Moving sensually could mean a slow sway of your hips or running your hand slowly up your lover’s chest. The sway of your hips will increase the flow of energy moving throughout your body and you can take in the feeling of this while those sexy and sensual movements visually stimulate your partner. As you can see, sexy and sensual can start to integrate at this point.
Leaving out sensuality and only focusing on the sexual you can miss out on the potential for extraordinary sensations and an out-of-this world climax. Becoming fully aware of the sensations within your body during lovemaking is what makes it sensual. In a sense, it is animalistic. After all, most animals can hear, smell, taste, see, and feel. But, moving it beyond just a quick sexual encounter gives both you and your lover the opportunity to savor the feel of one another’s touch, relish in each other’s natural smell (or soap or cologne), soak up the glorious view of your bodies, taste each other, and revel in the whispered words, moans, or sexy screams that escape you.
The Journey
Awakening your senses and then exploring how to gratify them can take you on a phenomenal journey. In fact, according to a teacher from the African Dagara Tribe, that is what “lovemaking” would translate as – going on a journey together. When the two of you bring more sensuality into your lives you will come to understand that it is not just about sex, and you can share sensual moments with your partner anywhere, anytime.That shared journey can start long before the bedroom and last extensively afterwards. You can reach over and draw little circles with your finger on your lover’s wrist at dinner. You can slip your hand underneath their shirt and lightly rub your partner's back while walking down the street. You can wear clothing that you know will arouse your partner's senses. These are just a couple of examples. Adding this aspect and expanding the sensuality in your relationship will open the two of you to a deeper connection. Not only is it likely that your souls will blend together more freely, but it is also true that you will open more easily to a reconnection with your own soul.
TranscendThis leads to a greater possibility of transcendent sex, which means you gain access to the Divine through lovemaking (and that has nothing to do with being religious or not). Your creative energy will flow more freely, you will gain a new level of confidence in daily life, and yep, you will actually have a natural glow.
So, awaken to the powerful difference between “sexuality” and “sensuality”. To recap, sexuality is focused on the sexual act while sensuality focuses on pleasuring and gratifying all of your senses while connecting to your souls. Coming to this realization can not only enhance your lovemaking, but help it transcend basic, animalistic gratification.
Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook called "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them at Inward Oasis. Follow them on Twitter @sexychallenges and Facebook.
7 Ways to Prolong Foreplay
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Some things take longer than others. Putting up holiday decorations takes forever. The length of time they are up? Not so much. Being stuck in traffic can feel like an eternity. While hitting the snooze button can feel like exercise. It seems like the good things in life fly by so quickly, and that just isn’t fair. So to help you make a good thing, a really good thing last longer here are seven ways to prolong foreplay. You can thank us later.
#1 Flirt
Remember the days before you two were having sex? When the brush of a hand would send a chill up your spine? Those tentative movements made oh so much sexier because the thrill of the unknown was always present? Those mini adrenalin rushes were made possible through the fine art of flirting.
Foreplay doesn’t all have to take place in the bedroom. It can begin with an innocent walk, hands grazing the other’s thigh while you two keep pace. The gentle act of sweeping hair from the other’s face. The long looks, then the nervous avoidance of eye contact, you don’t want to appear too eager (or do you?). The wonderful dance in the bedroom begins with sexy steps in every other location. Remind each other of how the anticipation of the first time felt; every last detail.
#2 Gaze
It is so easy to rush through foreplay and get down to business. But I bet neither one of you spend enough time looking at, and appreciating each other’s bodies as you should. Undress slowly; let him run his eyes over every last curve; let her see the strength in your arms and the wonder of your gorgeous cock! Feel fat because you had tiramisu after (or for) dinner? Get over it! That’s not what we are starting at. Feeling self-conscious? Maybe you should practice self love (or get naked more often). Alternatively, cleaning each other is another way to feel more comfortable with gazing lovingly. You're both squeaky clean! What better time!#3 Rub
Give your partner a loving, sensual massage. Find those scented oils or just grab some lotion and give each other a tandem massage. Take your time, allow each other the room to explore. Move in ways that make your partner glide to other body parts; the neck, the arms, the thighs; all of it. Touch every last inch of each other’s bodies. Try not to stop touching to get to another part of the body. Don’t talk about it, feel it. And then feel that, and that, and that, and that.
#4 Play
Role play; it can be seriously fun! Whether it is a naughty nurse fantasy, pizza delivery guy, red riding hood and the woodsman, or a lifeguard checking for a pulse, act it out! Don’t leave out a thing, from the costume to the dialogue work to get it all right. It is called fore-play for a reason. Enjoy it, have fun with your character, and each other’s. By taking on that other personality you are going to the unknown. Stay there for as long as you like, reality will be here when you get back.
#5 Bond
As in “bond-age.” Nothing can prolong foreplay like a little tie-me-up-tie-me-down. It is meant for it. From trying to decide what part to subdue first, to being able to do what you wish (or receive) once everything is securely fastened, you can play this way forever. You don’t need the whole under the mattress system to enjoy. Use those ugly ties you wouldn’t be caught dead in? That strangely shaped scarf that can’t accessorize any outfit you own? They have just been spared a trip to the donation box.
#6 Kiss
Kissing will probably be some component to the actual act of having sex. But when was the last time you really made out without sex? Sit on the couch, lie in bed, stand in the kitchen and just make out! Start fully clothed, and then make your way around those bases. I’d suggest the car but have you been in the backseat of your Camry as an adult?
#7 Oral sex!
Blowjobs and cunnilingus. OK, some people may argue that oral sex is still sex and therefore not part of foreplay. But for this article I’m drawing the line in the sand: oral is allowed. Lots of oral. You can do this all day. You can do this while you are role playing or tied up or whatever. Not only is this incredibly pleasurable but it is a fabulous way to get and stay primed for when you move on to the next level.
You remember that part, don’t you?
Lynn Olejniczak is a native Chicagoan who loves her city and everything it has to offer. She spent 10 years as a NASDAQ trader in Chicago and New York in the 90's, then went back to college when "the rules changed and I realized no one was going to pay me lots of money to swear at them anymore."She loves good food, and a perfectly poured Guinness at any Irish pub in the city. Her Beastie Boys CDs rest comfortably next to her Misfits vinyl, and she believes Underground Garage is the best radio program known to humankind. Armed with degrees in History, and a love of Urban Planning, Lynn is currently writing and researching a book on the 80's Chicago bar scene. Get in touch with Lynn at editorial@getlusty.com.
