Your Sexuality is a Gift: Are You Giving It?

Ladies, we want your sexuality! Sexuality makes the world go 'round. Well, it does at GetLusty for Couples anyway. We're not just talking about your bodies here – we want you to share your passion and energy with us. We want you to realize what a gift your sexuality really is, and not just for your partner, but also for the world. The level of passion you have in your libido reflects directly to the level of passion in your heart and mind, affecting every aspect of your life. Joanna Kennedy, owner and director of Center for Happiness, Love and Pleasure, explains how your sexuality truly is a gift for the world.

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I've truly come to realize the essential role our sexuality plays in enjoying a happy, healthy, vibrant, love-filled life. We so much more to give when our lives are rich, full, and overflowing with pleasure and joy. Our happiness and a skip in our step make others smile. It reminds them of the joy inside themselves.

You've experienced, or a least seen someone else with, that warm, alive, playful glow that has, "I've just had amazing sex," written all over it. We feel so alive in those moments. They can be the moments of our greatest creativity, our greatest generosity, our greatest connections.

Yet life has us busy. Deadlines keep us running. Exhaustion wins over lovemaking.

Do the world a favor this new year and connect with your sexuality. If you have a partner, make love with the openness of your heart. Find each other again, even if it's been years. If you're single, find something that turns you on – that awakens and raises the sexual energy in you – a book, movie, a dance, an activity, a conversation, a fantasy. Find something that stirs your juices and just enjoy the pleasure it brings to your body, the smile it can't help but put on your face.

Best-selling author and TV host, Dr. Oz says, "As a nation, we are in a sexual famine. Simply put, not enough people are getting down on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis." He reminds us, “We’re not having sex anymore, and we’re not doing things that bring us vitality and joy of life."

It's been documented that we live longer, healthier, happier lives when we're enjoying quality sex. I say it's time for us to connect with this powerful life force within ourselves and use if for good. I began a recent talk saying, "What makes you turned-on, alive and passionate in the bedroom is what will make your business turned-on, alive and passionate - making a big contribution to the world."

The more than 40 people in the room got a taste of what it's like to be on fire with desire – turned on by life and there wasn't a touch, kiss, or a physically intimate moment anywhere to be seen. We were simply beginning to understand that we don't have to turn off our fire, juice or passion when we leave the bedroom.

What would the world be like if we had more time and space, if we slowed our drive to just enjoy the simple pleasures again – a good hug, a warm drink, a smile, a conversation, a romp in the hay on Saturday afternoon? Can you find the time?

For years women have wanted men to connect their heart with their sexuality. Today, I believe it's time for women to reconnect their hearts with their sexuality. It's still true that for most women to be turned-on and fully open sexually, they need to be turned-on in their heart (Men, that's a hint). And, women, it seems that many of us as times, sometimes for a few days and sometimes for years or decades, settle just for love. When we do that we're missing out – missing out on a fundamental source of pleasure, joy, connection and vital energy. Women, it's time to allow this powerful source of energy, love and joy support us again. It's not something we can live without. Well, we can, but it depends on how you define living.

If something is blocking you – a physical pain or challenge, insecurity, shame, confusion, lack of knowledge – I don't care what it is; I invite and implore you to clear the roadblocks and reawaken the vibrant, creative and passionate you. Gift yourself with the abundant pleasure, the spiritual awakening power, the vitality that comes with reawakening and expressing your sexuality.

I invite you to offer that gift to your beloved – your alive awakened sexuality, and if it doesn't feel so alive anymore, then simply give him or her the gift of your willingness to re-explore it.

I invite you to give the world the gift of your passion, your excitement, your turn-on, your joy. The world needs more of our pleasure right now. We've repressed too much pain and loss. I wonder what would change if we found the time, space and energy to truly re-connect with each other – our deepest hearts with our families, our bodies and hearts with our beloveds, our passion and commitment to happiness, joy and healing with our neighbors, friends and the world.

I wonder what would happen...

Cross posted with permission from Happiness, Love and Pleasure.

Joanna founded the Center for Happiness, Love and Pleasure where she offers private sessions, products, and workshops that help liberate men and women to be their natural selves, have passionate sex lives, and create deeply loving relationships. She dedicates her life to helping men and women take off their masks, be themselves, and remember the power and potential of love. Personally, she practices living every moment of life as an expression of love, joy, peace, and passion, while keeping a constant focus on authenticity and intimacy. Follow her blog at Happiness, Love and Pleasure. Follow her on Facebook here.

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What's the Difference Between Sexuality and Sensuality?

It takes more than crazy sex positions and toys to enhance a couple's love life. Sexuality should be explored on a deeper level. Couples should be sensual with each other, but what do those things mean? What is Sensuality? Isn't it the same as Sexuality? Drs Janelle and Rob Alex define these ideas and explain how sensuality can enhance your life, in and out of the bedroom.

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The Differences

In an earlier post, 5 Ways to Make Sex Sensual, we said, “when you hear the word “sensual” you are most likely going to relate it to something sexual.” This may not ring true in all cultures, but the majority of Americans do create a direct correlation between sensuality and sexuality in their minds. In fact, thousands and thousands of people use those two words interchangeably. But, do they really mean the same thing? Is one truly synonymous with the other? We don’t believe so. On the other hand, sensual experiences can most certainly lead to sexual experiences.

Sexuality

The actual definition of “sexuality” describes it as one’s capacity to have sexual feelings as well as what one’s sexual preferences are. These are physical, animalistic traits. They can still feel good, but just performing the act of sex does not mean that you will explore the senses. Simply engaging in sexual activity does not mean that you will gratify your sensual self. Sexuality can be solely about lust and the desire to jump your lover, rip off his or her clothes and get busy.

Sensuality

Sensuality is slower and arouses, as well as gratifies, all of the senses. Moving sensually could mean a slow sway of your hips or running your hand slowly up your lover’s chest. The sway of your hips will increase the flow of energy moving throughout your body and you can take in the feeling of this while those sexy and sensual movements visually stimulate your partner. As you can see, sexy and sensual can start to integrate at this point.

Leaving out sensuality and only focusing on the sexual you can miss out on the potential for extraordinary sensations and an out-of-this world climax. Becoming fully aware of the sensations within your body during lovemaking is what makes it sensual. In a sense, it is animalistic. After all, most animals can hear, smell, taste, see, and feel. But, moving it beyond just a quick sexual encounter gives both you and your lover the opportunity to savor the feel of one another’s touch, relish in each other’s natural smell (or soap or cologne), soak up the glorious view of your bodies, taste each other, and revel in the whispered words, moans, or sexy screams that escape you.

The Journey

Awakening your senses and then exploring how to gratify them can take you on a phenomenal journey. In fact, according to a teacher from the African Dagara Tribe, that is what “lovemaking” would translate as – going on a journey together. When the two of you bring more sensuality into your lives you will come to understand that it is not just about sex, and you can share sensual moments with your partner anywhere, anytime.

That shared journey can start long before the bedroom and last extensively afterwards. You can reach over and draw little circles with your finger on your lover’s wrist at dinner. You can slip your hand underneath their shirt and lightly rub your partner's back while walking down the street. You can wear clothing that you know will arouse your partner's senses. These are just a couple of examples. Adding this aspect and expanding the sensuality in your relationship will open the two of you to a deeper connection. Not only is it likely that your souls will blend together more freely, but it is also true that you will open more easily to a reconnection with your own soul.

Transcend

This leads to a greater possibility of transcendent sex, which means you gain access to the Divine through lovemaking (and that has nothing to do with being religious or not). Your creative energy will flow more freely, you will gain a new level of confidence in daily life, and yep, you will actually have a natural glow.

So, awaken to the powerful difference between “sexuality” and “sensuality”. To recap, sexuality is focused on the sexual act while sensuality focuses on pleasuring and gratifying all of your senses while connecting to your souls. Coming to this realization can not only enhance your lovemaking, but help it transcend basic, animalistic gratification.



Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook called "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them at Inward Oasis. Follow them on Twitter @sexychallenges and Facebook.

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How to Cultivate a Sensual Pregnancy

Pregnant or considering pregnancy soon? As women, sometimes the first thing we think about is the negatives of pregnancy. The morning sickness, the worry or grief of a sick baby. How will I be as a mother? Did I really just let my child fall on the floor because I wasn't watching her? OK, these are totally natural. But what about you?! Where do you fit in all of these? Is there any way to make pregnancy and afterwards not only bearable--but pleasurable? As our friends Dr. Janelle and Rob Alex note, not only is there an opportunity to make pregnancy sensual. There are plenty of opportunities! Find out more; read on.

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The body changes drastically from the moment of conception. And, those changes continue not only through the next nine to ten months, but for weeks and possibly months after your new bundle of joy arrives. Women are beautiful, sensual and sexual creatures. Yet, for many, once they discover they are pregnant the idea of being sensual or sexual quickly evaporates.

There are many reasons that this may be the case. For example, “Morning sickness”, new hormones running rampant, weight gain. Maybe an unsupportive partner, the upcoming financial strain of a new child, your body image or other health concerns are all potential reasons you may not feel sensual or sexy during all or part of your pregnancy. So, is it even really possible to have a sensual pregnancy? Yes!

First of all, be aware that being sensual does not necessarily mean the same thing as being sexual. Sensuality is about gratifying the senses. Become more fully present in the moment and become fully aware of your body and your emotions.

While pregnant your sense of smell and sense of taste may very well become heightened. Eating delicious foods, especially ones you may have cravings for, can be shared with your lover. Savor in your heightened taste sensations. Slowly bite into that fresh piece of fruit. Take your time lifting the spoon to your mouth, close your lips around it and slowly remove it as you pull this wonderfully delicious treat onto your tongue.

Allow a soft, pleasure-filled moan to escape from your throat. It doesn’t matter if you are early on in your pregnancy with no baby bump or if you are nine months along and your yummy food is balanced on your baby belly instead of the table. Your lover is likely to get turned on by your sensual eating. You can add to the experience by having him/her feed you these tasty bites. You can even choose to close your lips around his/her fingers as you are fed.

As your tummy begins to grow be proud of it instead of insecure about your expanding girth. Opt for clothing that accentuates your baby bump instead of wearing big, sloppy clothing in an attempt to hide it. This is a special time in your life, whether planned or not. Take into consideration that not everyone can offer a baby a safe and sacred space to grow in. Yet, here you are doing just that. Honoring the rigorous, yet divine, work your body is capable of is beautiful. Wearing attractive clothing is always a great way to help you feel more sensual and sexier. Being pregnant doesn’t change that. There are a lot of spouses/partners who find pregnant women highly attractive. Together, you created a child, therefore, together you can relish in the sexy changes in your body.

Being pregnant means your body is increasing its blood flow and increasing the secretions from oil glands. These changes are what help give you that pregnancy “glow”. Your cheeks may be pinker and your skin shimmers from the extra oil. You also glow energetically. We all emit light energy. It is our life force energy. You may better understand it as your aura.

Now, consider that you are carrying another life inside of you and his/her little life force energy is also emitting light. It is no wonder that you seem to “glow” during pregnancy because you really are glowing. And, more often than not others are drawn to the light. This means you may be even more attractive to some than normal. Look at yourself in the mirror. Run your hands over your body and feel the difference in your skin. Allow your lover to do the same. Together you can celebrate the new life your lovemaking is bringing into the world.

Oftentimes, as your body grows heavy with child you may really want and/or need a foot rub, a back rub or even a tummy rub. This is a beautiful time to experience a sensual massage from your honey. He/she can enjoy exploring the changes in your body as you relax and focus on the sensation of his/her touch. If the two of you progress to a more intimate sensual massage, you can release oxytocin and thereby ease any pregnancy pain you may have been experiencing. As you probably already know, as you become sexually aroused the body releases this feel-good hormone. But, did you know that with the increased blood flow, your labia may become engorged during these months. This offers the potential for a new orgasmic experience.

Feeling sensual and sharing in lovemaking with your beloved are not only things you can and should enjoy during your pregnancy, but they are very beneficial for you, your lover, and your unborn baby. For women, pleasure and orgasm are excellent for mental and emotional health as well as physical health. In fact, as you are preparing for labor and delivery, know that semen has a hormone called relaxin, which softens the cervix and lengthens the pelvic ligaments. This hormone can be received orally as well. What a great way to encourage and assist your baby’s entrance into the world.

Experiencing sensuous pleasure throughout your pregnancy can lead to a quicker and easier delivery. It doesn’t guarantee it, but either way you can relish in the sensuality of your pregnancy. Wait! You don’t feel like having sex with your partner? No problem. You do not have to have intercourse. You can experience pleasure orally. You can pleasure yourself.

Of course, due to the increased hormonal activity in the body many women find themselves feeling far more sensual as well as more sexually aroused throughout their pregnancy. You may or may not be one of those women, but you can increase your sensuality simply by honoring you, your body and the changes that are taking place.

Experiencing and enjoying your sensuality and your sexuality throughout your pregnancy will help your body prepare for the birth. This can also deepen the intimate bond with your partner.

One final note for you – while you are in labor if you visualize making love to your sweetheart, you will actually be helping yourself to relax vaginally. This is a natural way to offer yourself assistance during this experience and may even lead you to have an orgasmic birth.

(*Only participate in sexual activity if your heart is healthy enough and you are not experiencing any other serious health issues.)


Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook called "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them at Inward Oasis.

Read more »